PAST MOTIVATIONS

"When it was the toughest and I was really exhausted, I would look at the path ahead and say, 'You just have to take one more step -- anybody can do that.'
And then I would."

A woman who identifies herself only as Alive and 35 in North Carolina recently wrote advice columnist Ann Landers saying: "I hope you will print my letter and help me deliver an important message." The background to her message was a life filled with bad choices and harsh consequences.

Alive and 35 explained she left school at 15 because she was pregnant. "By the time I was 18, I had given birth to two sons and put them up for adoption." At age 22, she finally graduated from high school. By age 25, she was on her third marriage and had a baby girl. When her daughter was three, the woman was diagnosed with Hodgkin's disease. Radiation caused her to lose her hair, thirty pounds, and she also lost her husband. He left, taking the daughter with him.

It took Alive and 35 nearly a year to track her husband down and regain custody of the child. "I married my fourth husband, wasted four more years trying to make the marriage work and finally went back to college." She graduated, was divorced and married husband number five. Shortly after that, the cancer reoccurred, causing considerable financial strain and emotional stress in the new marriage.

Never Give Up

Yet, Alive and 35 writes: "Life is good. My current husband is the most supportive, kind and generous man in the world. He is my friend, lover, car mechanic, plumber, electrician, appliance repairman and nurse. He is a wonderful father to my daughter, who adores him. My dog loves him, too. He attends school recitals and parent's day events and sends me flowers for no reason."

The message Alive and 35 wanted Ann Landers to deliver: "Tell your readers, never give up. No matter where you are or where you've been, there is always someplace left to go. And going forward is the best option."

Although that woman's circumstances were uncommon in their severity, discouragement is a common experience. No one escapes it entirely. Discouragement can be an isolated, momentary experience or an overwhelming, continuous condition which engulfs and paralyzes us. Abraham Lincoln once said, "I am now the most miserable man alive. Whether I shall ever be better, I cannot tell." The apostle Paul wrote: "We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to ensureso that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death" (2 Corinthians 1:8-9).

Poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow observed: "Into each life some rain must fall, some days must be dark and dreary." Alive and 35 offers one way to deal with a difficult time when she declares: "Never give up." Here are four other effective strategies for dealing with discouragement.

Battling Discouragement

#1) Just take the next step. There is a great wisdom in this ancient Chinese Proverb: "The journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step." There are many mountain climbers in the world but Don Bennet is one who clearly stands out. Bennet is the first amputee to climb Mt. Rainier. It is 14,410 feet to the top, and Bennet did it on one leg and two crutches. On his first try, he got within 410 feet of the top, but a howling windstorm almost blew him off. So, he had to retreat back down.

A year later he tried it again and made it to the top in five days. When asked how he did it, he replied: "One hop at a time. When I started to climb, I just said to myself, 'Anybody can hop from here to there,' and I would. When it was the toughest and I was really exhausted, I would look at the path ahead and say, 'You just have to take one more step -- anybody can do that.' And then I would."

Discouragement is much like climbing a mountain. The terrain is unfamiliar. Various emotional elements -- fear, anger, despair, guilt, regret, etc. -- conspire to make the climb difficult and discouraging. Do what Don Bennet did: move through discouragement -- "one hop at a time." Like Bennet, study your situation and tell yourself: "Anybody can hop from here to there." Like Bennet, say to yourself: "You just have to take one more step -- anybody can do that."

#2) Let crisis push you up, not pull you down. Here is an important life lesson from an Idaho potato farmer who relocated to North Dakota. In North Dakota, the potato farmers spent a great deal of time sorting their potatoes at harvest time. In order to receive top price, they hand separated their potato crop into three piles: Big potato pile. Medium potato pile. Small potato pile. However, they were astonished to note that the new farmer from Idaho didn't sort his potatoes. He just dug them out of the earth, placed them into his wagon, drove them to the purchasing co-op and delivered them.

The North Dakota farmers were even more astonished when they learned that the farmer from Idaho got the same price as the farmers who spent days sorting their potatoes. In fact, they complained to the co-op manager, saying: "We separate all our potatoes making it easier for you. He didn't separate his potatoes, but you paid him the same amount."

The co-op manager explained that the Idaho farmer's potatoes were, in fact, separated and that he was able to unload his big potatoes in the big bin, the medium potatoes in the medium bin and the small potatoes in the small bin. "The difference between him and the rest of you was this," the co-op manager added, "You all take nice, smooth roads into town. He took the bumpy country roads! Big potatoes always rise to the top on a rough road," he explained.

That story provides this important lesson for dealing with discouragement: Allow yourself to be empowered by a problem. When facing discouragement, let the crisis push you up, not pull you down. Remember:

Every obstacle is an opportunity, and every burden can become a blessing.
Mistakes can open doors that allow us to learn and to grow.
"Big potatoes always rise to the top on a rough road!"
#3) Affirm what you cannot deny. The problem with discouragement is that it clouds our vision. Discouragement dulls our memory of life's victories and God's faithfulness. To restore perspective and balanced thinking, affirm what you cannot deny, namely the promises of God's support and guidance. Restore your thinking and renew your faith by affirming scriptures such as:

Nehemiah 4:20 -- "Our God will fight for us."
2 Chronicles 16:9 -- "The eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him."
2 Timothy 4:18 -- "The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack."
#4) Listen to your cheerleaders. When Don Bennet successfully climbed Mt. Rainier on one leg and two crutches, he had another ally: his teenage daughter. During a difficult stretch over an ice field, she stayed by his side for four hours. With each hop, she kept saying to him: "You can do it, Dad. You're the greatest dad in the world. You can do it!" Bennet told reporters: "There was no way I could quit with those words of love and encouragement ringing in my ears."

All sorts of people come into our lives. Some good, some not so good. Listen to those who can be your cheerleaders during a hard time. Spend time in the company of those who nourish your dreams, inspire your thinking and motivate you to action.

 

-by J. Sheen

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